La la la typical Monday work bullshit.

Is it too early to be staring off into space and daydreaming about all my lovely vacation time that starts in 11 work days?

Hmm. It's probably also too early to try to figure out how much of a tax refund I might get.

Dammit.

Has anyone read any good fic lately? I've just gone on a re-read of some of annakovsky's older stuff, and some Spock/Uhura to boot. Ooh speaking of, would kill for some TOS!Spock/Uhura or !Spock/Chapel. Shit I'll take anything Chapel related.

I worked from home today, which actually meant that I passed out in bed at two and didn't get up again until five. Yay?

Also just freaked out because I need a shower and dinner, in that order, and thought that BBT was on at eight and I wouldn't have enough time. More sleep would be of the good.

Another new fic, because I can't stop. It's also a fanmix! Oh my god, I made a fanmix.

& what should never be; 1600 words; R; Penny/Sheldon
prequel/sequel thing for Warm Gulf Wind

Tiny covers:

From all over:

On each day, post the following:

day 01 | a song
day 02 | a picture
day 03 | a book/ebook/fanfic
day 04 | a site
day 05 | a youtube clip
day 06 | a quote
day 07 | whatever tickles your fancy

Today's pick is a Big Bang Theory fic (shock! horror! I know no other fandoms these days!) by fujiidom: Through Quartz, Sand, and Cellulose. It's a Penny/Sheldon fic that does something I haven't really seen in any others: deal with the pre-series death of Sheldon's dad. Also contains gorgeously detailed future versions of Penny and Sheldon, and was definitely an inspiration for my own future versions of them.

And I'm going to cheat and tell you that you should also buy a copy of Wil Wheaton's Memories of the Future, Vol. I when he releases it next Tuesday. Because the MotF podcasts are lolarious and the book is going to be even better.

Also, jfc, I'm really sorry that I'm so behind on replies. If I can get out from under this backlog of work that I totally brought down on myself by being a sad slacker blob for the past few weeks, I'm going to whittle that inbox down to nothing. Nothing, I say!

Blip.fm is the greatest thing I've found in, like, days. BTW.

Y halo thar sudden rush of bitterness, nostalgia, and general feelings of worthlessness! It has been about a week since I saw you last, so bravo on your speedy return.

Or, you know, fuck right off. Whichever. I'm going to eat my lunch and pretend that I don't suck at and hate my job!

The Kroger down the road from the office is in the midst of remodeling, which leads to hilarious encounters like the one I witnessed today where every person behind the bakery counter was a construction worker in a hard hat and this poor little old lady was just trying to get one of them to find her a loaf of bread with sundried tomatoes in it. "WELL WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE? >:(" Oh, old ladies getting irate in the grocery store, never change. ♥

They have added a ~Mediterranean Experience~ bar with a sad selection of olives and marinated tomatoes, but it does have three different kinds of wheatberry salad (I'm eating one with roasted peppers, onion, chickpeas, lentil, and couscous and it is fucking delicious), three flavors of fresh hummus, and a tub of baba ghanouj that srsly had me drooling right there in the store despite the fact that it didn't look quite right (it should be a tan-ish color, amirite? or amicrazy?).

Oh gosh, is this another food-related post? Why don't I take that shit to Twitter where it belongs >:(

JFC I am so far behind on pretty much everything I need to do. Except for the crackfic that keeps ballooning. 7000+ more words than the original intended goal wtaf.

HI I'M NEEDY:
THE "i've always wanted to tell you" MEME
ANONYMOUS OR SIGNED IN BITCHING ALWAYS WELCOMED FYI

I always eat too many chicken strips and not enough buffalo dressing on Chick-fil-a day. :(

Oh! I just remembered that I got an extra Cuban sandwich last night for lunch today, which means that now I have a Cuban sandwich for dinner! Yay for greasy artery-clogging days.

FYI.

NEW HEAD CANON: JAYNE COBB'S GREAT-GREAT-GREAT^WHATEVER-GRANDFATHER WAS SHELDON COOPER'S DAD.

EVIDENCE:
-SUCH PITHY ADVICE AS "MARY, YA GOTTA LET SHELDON BE SHELDON"
-"ONCE WRESTLED A BOBCAT FOR SOME LICORICE"
-SOURCE OF SHELDON'S: BLUE EYES, GOATEE, TALL FOR NO REASON!

DISCUSS.

I am sitting in my pajamas on the couch, hair a mess, and not doing the voluntary training that was my reason for working from home today.

I really ought to work harder on not getting fired.

I am officially dropping out of SGA Big Bang. I couldn't make the story work and honestly had no desire to kick my own ass long enough to figure out why. So, for NaNo! :D? :D? :(

It's the end of the financial quarter, which means free lunches! Free Lunch Week is a beautiful thing. Even better than surprise!cake, because there is more of it, but not surprise!cupcakes because a) surprise! and b) cupcakes! and c) sometimes those chalky disc-shaped sprinkles! However it doeesn't make me as sleepy at the end of the day. Just the normal post-lunch sleepy without the added bonus of "why don't I keep a toothbrush in my desk for the high-sugar days?"

Fic rec!
I am a complete mess when it comes to actually reading email these days, so luckily wandersfound sent the link for this on Twitter instead! She wrote this fic for me and it is sheer genius: The Bear Planet, Dwight is the Doctor's companion. NGL IT IS PRETTY MUCH THE MOST PERFECT REPRESENTATION OF THAT IDEA THAT COULD POSSIBLY EXIST. EVER.

The weather has turned to autumn overnight, pretty much. A big thunderstorm rolled in last night and temperatures dropped about 10° F, so now everyone is bitching about having to pull the heavy sweaters back out of storage. THESE PEOPLE ARE INSANE BECAUSE HEAVY SWEATER WEATHER > ALL OTHER SWEATER. I MEANT WEATHER. WHAT.

Still listening to Sarah Harmer's Almost on a loop.

Don't send help. ♥_♥

Oh hay wait, do send help. Boss and Fail!coworker appear to be about to come to blows. Soothe them with folky Canadian singer-songwriters y/mfy/just gtfo to lunch early?

High point of the day: having to explain to a salesperson why he couldn't use the image he'd pulled off the manufacturer website in *that* particular spot of his presentation.

Why? Because in order to fill the slide, he'd manipulated the image so much that the equipment looked like a robot penis.

EXTRA EXTRA
I don't think I've stopped loling for about three hours now. First it was the robot penis, then it was hysterical IM times, then I started listening to Wil Wheaton's Memories of the Futurecast. In the third one, he totally breaks from talking about the episode to point out for everyone listening that his BlackBerry just got a text message and, yes, it does make the TNG communicator sound when it does.

I SERIOUSLY JUST MADE THIS FACE: *_*

FOLLOWED BY THIS FACE: ♥_♥

FOLLOWED BY THIS FACE: :D

WIL WHEATON: TURNING ME INTO AN ANIMEFACE SINCE 1987

Yep, pretty sure I cried a little bit at an episode of Supernanny last night. That little boy just wanted his daddy to be nice to hiiiiim ;_;

Yesterday at work we were discussing how one has to send "advance" notice to one particular salesperson at the same time one sends the actual notice so as to avoid her increasingly desperate attempts to get around the procedures she is being notified of. I, because of too much time on the internets, responded to a joke about her flinging herself in the path of outgoing emails as a last-ditch attempt to get her way by referring to the internets as "the tubes."

Oh Eljay, I am not even prepared to tell you how sad it made me that no one had ever heard them called that before.

Furthering the conclusion that I spend too much time on the internets, last night found me ridiculously outraged that there are people who do not have the same ideas about my favorite characters that I do.

Thank you ever so, PMS.

And how are you today, flist?

I keep daydreaming that Kanye is about to burst into horrible work meetings to derail whatever presentation is going on. Like, IMMA LET YOU FINISH BUT THAT PRODUCT LAUNCH WAS THE BEST MARKETING OF THE YEAR. THE WHOLE YEAR. *GUZZLES CIROC* Wait, no, it's Diddy who's all about the Ciroc.

But that's totally normal, right?

Also he then would make out with Fiddy. Who is also there, I guess? Whatever, RaPS is totally a valid fandom, okay? >:(

Anyway, Kanye was a dickbag, yes, but he almost made me cry when he couldn't speak on Leno wrt his mom and I hope he does some very serious therapy-type things.

Our team meeting this week was all about ~time management~ and I got some very helpful tips (like turning off the freaking IM client that bothers me all day long because no one in this company understands what the 'busy' signal means). The downside is that I have been ridiculously productive and not inclined to goofing off in Google Docs. Which is all very well and good for not getting fired, but goddammit I have fics in progress!

Now I go back to being ridiculously productive, with bonus Korean folk music and some Mos Def on my ipod. Oh random downloading sprees, how I adore you.

eta
JFC SAVE ME. Oh God, flist, there is nothing more painful than getting called in to assist on an HTML document only to be confronted with a blank stare when I ask where the source file and the images are stored.

Wednesday - morning
Them: WE HAVE TO HAVE THIS MEETING ON MONDAY OMG OR WE'LL ALL DIAF!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: K, what time?
Them: [No response]

Thursday - morning
Me: Hay guys, that meeting - what time? My calendar's filling up and I don't want everyone to diaf. (N.B. This is a lie. I do want everyone to diaf.)
Them: [No response]

Friday - morning
Me: Hay guys, I only have these times left open on my calendar for Monday afternoon or it's too bad so sad. When can we do the meeting?
Them: [No response]
Me: Oh well.
Laptop: *dies and is resurrected*

Friday - afternoon
Them: Just got back from lunch. Sending meeting invite.
Meeting invite: *does not arrive*
Me: IT'S 5:00 TIME TO PARTY GREEK-STYLE \o/

Saturday - morning
Me: Oh hay I can't remember what I was supposed to work on this weekend.
VPN: Hahaha no you cannot log in even though you are using the correct password- Oh wait.
Email: You have some emails!
Meeting invite: *for Monday morning*
Me: >>>>:(((((


But in happy happy news I am now watching the first episode of Leverage and it is DELIGHTFUL. You can all keep your Christian Kane though because the very slightest glimpse of Aldis Hodge makes me flap my hands and make starry-eyes at the screen.

Also I do not regret drunkpost last night because I do love you all a lot even when I'm not toasted. And because I did not send any embarrassing text messages last night YAY ME.

Tonight, I will feast on delicious Greek delicacies and frosty alcoholic beverages!

But for now, there is listening to the Big Boss drone on and on about tomorrow's Ohio State game, attempting to recover from 3 hours of Dead Laptop time this morning, and dreaming of skipping through the doors at 5pm on the dot.

eta
There is also an incredibly boring audio conference to which I didn't need to be invited, and stealing a coworker's chair for the afternoon now that he's gone home. OMG you guys, this thing is amazing. I'm not hunched over my desk, I can type without my elbows knocking against the desk, and my back aches in new weird places because my posture is improved by a factor of about a billion.

Amaaaaaaazing.

Final part of The Vengeance Paradox! Okay, srsly, how did I write 14000 words of Penny/Sheldon. WTAF.

Heyo! Tonight I am not at work and yet I am still working because certain GIGANTIC PAINS IN MY ASS have been led to believe that they can totally pull off a complete sales kit in less than two days, the week before a federal holiday. HAHA MY JOB ROCKS SO MUCH WHEN I'M FORCED TO SAY YES TO SHIT LIKE THIS.

I was staring at ishieland earlier and decided I want to (yet again!) change the layout. Also in staring at it I believe that I have possibly plagiarized myself in the very first line of that last chapter. Oh my lol.

We watched Sunshine Cleaning earlier and oh man you must all watch it. Amy Adams and Emily Blunt and Adam Arkin and that little kid are so great, but Mary Lynn Rajskub and Clifton Collins totally stole the show for me.

lol html fail :(

I think I just accidentally found Sheldon attractive.

I CAN'T RESIST MIRROR!SPOCK-STYLE FACIAL HAIR, OKAY. Srsly, this is weird. I may ship the crap out of Penny/Sheldon, and I may find the character adorable and endearing, but attractive? This is a first. I think. It may have happened once or twice before. Um.

Right now I am supposed to be taking notes on a horrible call for both posterity and for posterior-covering. Instead I am sneakily logging in to eljay. Whoops!

Also I left the house with no money and no means of getting money this morning. No credit card, no bank card, no checkbook, no photo ID for withdrawing in person at the bank. But there was a bag of Sun Chips in my desk and a dollar in my piggy bank so yeah! Healthy and nutritious lunch, here I come!

eta
Rumors are swirling that Charlie Watts had quit the Stones; NME says Stones said lol no.

HAI I JUST ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK. DDDD:

Once I'm done with The Vengeance Paradox, I really need to finish my femgenficathon entry because I have to get busy on the sgabigbang fic (oh god what was I thinking).

The femgen one is Teyla-centric, set way before In the Hollow Tree but in that same AU with possibly a random crossover character or two. What can I say, I loves the crack. Anyone want to take a turn at beta'ing?

And now I'm at work and with nothing pressing on the agenda because I had to clear my calendar for a big call later this morning, and because all my end of the month stuff is done.

Clean off my desk* and finish hanging the new Dorothea Lange posters I did last night on the big plotter printer, or wander around the office looking for supplies I can add to my stockpile (I'm down to only 10 pads of post-its! the horror!)?


* and by clean off my desk, I mean shift around some of the many many piles of paper before getting bored and checking email obsessively.

eta
It's probably a bad sign that my reaction to finding out the Executive is going to be in the office all week instead of jetting around is: ;_________;

Because inlovewithnight did it and I'm chained to my desk for most of the day:

You can learn a lot about someone by the music they listen to. So here is the game! Hit shuffle on your ipod or mp3 player and write down the first 25 songs. No cheating or skipping songs that are shameful. That is the fun!

( trust me, I'm mortified by any conclusions you might draw )

In other news, I went out to lunch with someone who tried to tell me all about his theory about how the one lesbian he knows isn't really a lesbian because she's spoiled and terrible with money and therefore her lesbianism is just another facet of her ~rebellion~ and hobvious moral defects. Because also gay people are gross and wrong, you know. Y HALO THAR MASSIVE BLOOD PRESSURE SPIKE AND INEVITABLE "ISHIE'S TOTALLY A LESBIAN BECAUSE SHE TOLD ME OFF ABOUT MY STUPID IGNORANT BULLSHIT" OFFICE GOSSIP.

I will never understand why this guy continues to think I'm a good person to unload this crap on when it turns into a fight every fucking time.

I cracked my funny bone on the door at lunch today and it's still all jacked up. Cut off my arm y/mfy?

Somehow I managed to lose my entire collection (which is all of 20 songs but still) of Elvis Perkins in Dearland, which I realized after rec'ing it to someone on Twitter and then had a hankering to listen to all day. Why must you torment me, technology ;_______________;

And now it's time for an exciting Friday night of catching up on all the shit I didn't get done during the week at work! Week-in-the-life pics later. You're all dying to see another day of my incredibly boring life, right?

Oh and speaking of pictures, I want so badly to love my new phone and for the most part I do but the battery life is shitty as hell. What is the point of having a smartphone with fancy apps and junk if it dies halfway through the day?

Work cookout was fun! I am sunburned in an odd pattern on my chest due to the cut of the tank top I had on and the shirt I wore over it. Whoops.

( I made cold noodle salad! )

Why am I doing all this cooking? Bizarre.

I have had a blistering headache for days (thanks, the weather!) and it was not helped at all by the insane amounts of laughing I just did. Because we watched ILU MAN. Not because I'm insane and just sitting around my house guffawing at nothing. I mean, sure, that happens sometimes. What?

In conclusion, MARRY ME JASON SEGEL. MARRY ME WITH YOUR ANDRE THE GIANT VOICE AND FLOPPY HAIR AND MUPPETY WEIRDNESS.

Working from home tomorrow yay! I always forget how annoying and unproductive that is until I'm actually doing it. But double yay for not having to change out of pajamas all day!

ALSO YOU SHOULD ALL WATCH FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS BECAUSE IT HAS AWESOME KICKASS FEMALE CHARACTERS AND KYLE CHANDLER'S LUSTROUS EYELASHES AND THE FOOTBALL IS NOT THE POINT. I'm thinking of making it a poly-wedding with me, Jason Segel, and Tami Taylor's Face. All those in favor?

Oh right and I am thinking of making a cold noodle salad for the work cookout Friday. Anyone have a no-fail recipe? Because I am thinking that spaghetti + whatever shit I have in the fridge != awesome, necessarily.

Also I am thinking that using "I am thinking" this much is kind of bizarre and off-putting. It is probably putting people off. Did I mention that I took a migraine pill? Because yes. And it is glorious.

This morning, I locked myself out of the house with all my work stuff and a bag of trash, but without proper shoes.

Or brushed hair.

Or car keys.

HAHAHA WHAT A GREAT MONDAY.

I found this in my documents this morning though and had forgotten all about it:


IT CONTINUES TO DELIGHT ME.